Ralphland

“Tonight on Extra- Rumor Has It that Jennifer Aniston is fighting mad about Angelina Jolie’s statements about Jen’s Break Up with Brad Pitt. It seems Angelina said that it was she who Derailed Jennifer’s Picture Perfect marriage with Brad. This revelation has sent Ms. Aniston over The Edge. However, while Ms. Jolie dishes the Dirt, Jennifer Aniston remains The Good Girl, taking the high road and getting strength from her Friends.”

“Tonight on Access Hollywood, Nicole Kidman comes clean on her marriage to Tom Cruise. It seems their relationship wasn’t To Die For. Her Leading Man Tom Cruise’s heart always seemed to be Far and Away and the final days of their marriage were full of Malice. Her new husband, however, now makes her feel like The Birthday Girl and she now feels like one of The Winners.“

“Tonight on ET: With Leonardo DiCaprio’s latest film going down like the Titanic at the box office, Leo’s not feeling like a Celebrity. His fans appear to have become The Departed and his career is facing a Total Eclipse. Will Leo’s fans begin to care about This Boy’s Life again, or are his films destined to be avoided like Poison Ivy?”

We’re counting down to Ralphland’s 500th Posting! Enjoy Post 499!

“Tonight on ET: The Mighty Sharon Stone divorced her husband due to Irreconcilable Differences and the battle over custody of their son has turned into a He Said, She Said war. Her husband claims that she has no Basic Instinct for motherhood and instead has a heart of Cold Steel. Will the judge be Simpatico to her side, or will she find herself Picking up the Pieces of lost custody?”

We’re counting down to Ralphland’s 500th Posting! Enjoy Post 493!

“Tonight on ET: Arnold Schwarzenegger faces a Total Recall as California’s prison guards say he’s given the state a Raw Deal. While Mr Schwarzenegger has painted himself as The Last Action Hero, the prison guards say he’s nothing but a Villain. Is this The End of Days for Arnold, or will he Jingle All The Way back to the governor’s mansion?”

“Val Kilmer is reportedly interested in becoming the Top Gun of New Mexico. With rumors that he is no Saint, will Val prove to be The Real McCoy or will his candidacy be among The Missing? It isn’t a Top Secret that his Hollywood career has been lacking Heat, so now would seem to be the best time for him to Run for the Money.”

“There’s Thunder in Paradise, as Hulk Hogan and his wife seek a legal separation. Hulk’s attorneys have advised him that there’s No Holds Barred when it comes to divorce. With his estranged wife asking for millions, it’s obvious that she sees him as a Santa With Muscles. Will the Hulkster have to become a Suburban Commando to protect his money, or does he have The Ultimate Weapon up his sleeve?”

“Tonight on Access Hollywood: David Duchovny’s SeX Files! David Duchovny’s wife Tea Leoni must now face the Naked Truth; her hubby ain’t no Family Man! His antics have made a Deep Impact on the couple’s marriage, leaving Tea to wonder- will their marriage have a Hollywood Ending? Or are they Flirting with Disaster?”